Dane cook heist monkey lyrics

05.05.2020
0
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HEIST - MONKEY Lyrics - DANE COOK | eLyrics.net
i was talking to this girl the other day and she said
"all guys want is sex"
and i said "listen, finish blowing me, and we are gonna
talk about this...later"...

that's a lie...

i said it because it was funny.
she actually said that she goes "thats all guys,
dane,is sex" and i said to her
"nay..."

i said "theres other things guys want besides sex.
we're just a little embarrassed to admit them but im
putting it out in the universe so you can respect us
for who we are as men"
for example any guy here more than sex if they had the
choice of sex or this one other thing any guy here
would rather be part of a heist!

you know when you watch the movie "Heat" your like "i
wanna do that!"

you just wanna be running down mainstreet with an AK-
47...

pffffpffffpffff
WHERE'S THE VAN?
pffffpffff
THE VAN WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HERE!
pffffff.

we want that guy whos on a computer and is like
"give me a minute i just need one more minute dude i
need one more minute to hack into the mainframe.
im in frenster they re-routed me into frenster i need a
minute...

WHERE'S THE f*ckING VAN! pfffff.

theres always that guy on the team too he was a last
minute replacement hes not one of the original gang but
one of the guys vouches for him
"no no dude trust me this guys cool,
hes solid and hes cool"

but hes not cool is he?

he doesn't really say anything ever right he just
stands there and looks cool, and at one point he might
be like
"let's kill these bitches"
...
i wanna be part of a heist and i wanna get shot here in
the back of my leg...

pow "OW shit!"
it stings but it still makes me feel kinda cool

i keep looking at the blood going
no no no no...bleeding from the leg
WHERES THE VAN!?

We wanna be a part of a heist and than there's something else that we want even more than the heist
even more than sex any guy here would love to have
a monkey,
a pet monkey
and people get mad and sometimes youd say oh i'd love
to have a monkey and theres always that one anti-monkey
person in the area.
they over hear you "excuse me i heard you saying you'd
like to have a monkey and thats a horrible idea you do
not want a monkey you do not want a monkey"
theyre a monkey expert and they start listing off all
the reasons YOU can't have a monkey
" let me tell you a few things
can i just have a minute can i have a minute
can i just explain a few things about monkeys that
maybe you dont know before you jump to your conclusion?
ok?
its more than just bananas and dancing with tooth
brushes
ok?
first of all they crap in their own hands and they
throw it around in a festive manner
like theyre at a celebration of monkey poop and
they make faces that are unacceptable in society..."
i hear these things and im like
thats why i want a monkey all those reasons!
i dont want a nice quiet monkey
i want an evil monkey that i can dress in armor give
him a sword have fights with him inside my place...
how pumped would you be driving home from work knowing
someplace in your house theres a monkey your gonna
battle!
thats awesome!

you walk in..

ahhh...monkey? you here?
...ahhhh...
where are you?...
im in your closet!...
holy shit you just talked!...
i taught myself to talk!...
this is incredibly odd!
i know lets fight!...
ok...

this would be the ultimate what if after the heist you
jump in the van and the monkey is driving the van..

"GET IN! WE GOTTA GO!
WE GOTTA GO! WE GOTTA GO!..........

makes me sad cuz i know it'll never happen...

check amazon for Heist - Monkey mp3 download
these lyrics are submitted by kaan
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dane cook heist monkey lyrics
Heist / Monkey - Dane Cook

i was talking to this girl the other day and she said
"all guys want is sex"
and i said "listen, finish blowing me, and we are gonna talk about this... later"...

that's a lie...

i said it because it was funny.
she actually said that she goes "thats all guys, dane, is sex" and i said to her
"nay..."

i said "theres other things guys want besides sex. we're just a little embarrassed to admit them but im putting it out in the universe so you can respect us for who we are as men"
for example any guy here more than sex if they had the choice of sex or this one other thing any guy here would rather be part of a heist!

you know when you watch the movie "Heat" your like "i wanna do that!"

you just wanna be running down mainstreet with an AK-47...

pffffpffffpffff
WHERE'S THE VAN?
pffffpffff
THE VAN WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HERE!
pffffff.

we want that guy whos on a computer and is like
"give me a minute i just need one more minute dude i need one more minute to hack into the mainframe.
im in frenster they re-routed me into frenster i need a minute...

WHERE'S THE FUCKING VAN! pfffff.

theres always that guy on the team too he was a last minute replacement hes not one of the original gang but one of the guys vouches for him
"no no dude trust me this guys cool,
hes solid and hes cool"

but hes not cool is he?

he doesn't really say anything ever right he just stands there and looks cool, and at one point he might be like
"let's kill these bitches"
i wanna be part of a heist and i wanna get shot here in the back of my leg...

pow "OW shit!"
it stings but it still makes me feel kinda cool

i keep looking at the blood going
no no no no... bleeding from the leg
WHERES THE VAN!?

We wanna be a part of a heist and than there's something else that we want even more than the heist even more than sex any guy here would love to have
a monkey,
a pet monkey
and people get mad and sometimes youd say oh i'd love to have a monkey and theres always that one anti-monkey person in the area.
they over hear you "excuse me i heard you saying you'd like to have a monkey and thats a horrible idea you do not want a monkey you do not want a monkey"
theyre a monkey expert and they start listing off all the reasons YOU can't have a monkey
" let me tell you a few things
can i just have a minute can i have a minute
can i just explain a few things about monkeys that maybe you dont know before you jump to your conclusion?
ok?
its more than just bananas and dancing with tooth brushes
ok?
first of all they crap in their own hands and they throw it around in a festive manner
like theyre at a celebration of monkey poop and
they make faces that are unacceptable in society..."
i hear these things and im like
thats why i want a monkey all those reasons!
i dont want a nice quiet monkey
i want an evil monkey that i can dress in armor give him a sword have fights with him inside my place...
how pumped would you be driving home from work knowing someplace in your house theres a monkey your gonna battle!
thats awesome!

you walk in.

ahhh... monkey? you here?
...ahhhh...
where are you?...
im in your closet!...
holy shit you just talked!...
i taught myself to talk!...
this is incredibly odd!
i know lets fight!...
ok...

this would be the ultimate what if after the heist you jump in the van and the monkey is driving the van.

"GET IN! WE GOTTA GO!
WE GOTTA GO! WE GOTTA GO!...

makes me sad cuz i know it'll never happen...



dane cook heist monkey lyrics


Dane Cook - Heist / Monkey

Iwas talking tothis girl the other day and she said
all guys want issex
And isaid listen, finish blowing me, and weare gonna talk about this
later
Thats alie
Isaid itbecause itwas funny
She actually said that she goes thats all guys, dane, issex and isaid toher
nay
Isaid theres other things guys want besides sex. were just alittle
embarrassed toadmit them but imputting itout inthe universe soyou can
respect usfor who weare asmen
For example any guy here more than sex ifthey had the choice ofsex orthis
one other thing any guy here would rather bepart ofaheist!
You know when you watch the movie Heat your like iwanna dothat!
You just wanna berunning down mainstreet with anAK-47
Pffffpffffpffff
WHERES THE VAN?
Pffffpffff
THE VAN WAS SUPPOSEDTO BEHERE!
Pffffff
Wewant that guy whos onacomputer and islike
give meaminute ijust need one more minute dude ineed one more minute to
hack into the mainframe
Iminfrenster they re-routed meinto frenster ineed aminute
WHERES THE FUCKING VAN! pfffff
Theres always that guy onthe team too hewas alast minute replacement hes not
one ofthe original gang but one ofthe guys vouches for him
nonodude trust methis guys cool
Hes solid and hes cool
But hes not cool ishe?
Hedoesnt really say anything ever right hejust stands there and looks cool,
and atone point hemight belike
let's kill these bitches
Iwanna bepart ofaheist and iwanna get shot here inthe back ofmyleg
Pow OWshit!
Itstings but itstill makes mefeel kinda cool
Ikeep looking atthe blood going
Nonono no bleeding from the leg
WHERES THE VAN?!
Wewanna beapart ofaheist and than theres something else that wewant even
more than the heist even more than sex any guy here would love tohave
Amonkey
Apet monkey
And people get mad and sometimes youd say oh id love tohave amonkey and
theres always that one anti-monkey person inthe area
They over hear you excuse meiheard you saying youd like tohave amonkey
and thats ahorrible idea you donot want amonkey you donot want amonkey
Theyre amonkey expert and they start listing off all the reasons YOU cant
have amonkey
let metell you afew things
Can ijust have aminute can ihave aminute
Can ijust explain afew things about monkeys that maybe you dont know before
you jump toyour conclusion?
Ok?
Its more than just bananas and dancing with tooth brushes
Ok?
First ofall they crap intheir own hands and they throw itaround inafestive
manner
Like theyre atacelebration ofmonkey poop and
They make faces that are unacceptable insociety
Ihear these things and imlike
Thats why iwant amonkey all those reasons!
Idont want anice quiet monkey
Iwant anevil monkey that ican dress inarmor give him asword have fights
with him inside myplace
How pumped would you bedriving home from work knowing someplace inyour house
theres amonkey your gonna battle!
Thats awesome!
You walk in
Ahhh monkey? you here?
ahhhh
Where are you
Iminyour closet
Holy shit you just talked
Itaught myself totalk
This isincredibly odd!
Iknow lets fight
Ok
This would bethe ultimate what ifafter the heist you jump inthe van and the
monkey isdriving the van
GETIN! WEGOTTAGO!
WEGOTTAGO! WEGOTTA GO
Makes mesad cuz iknow itll never happen

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